Generation Weenie

Another of the same, or at least that is what the U.K. Minister of Labour believes. Unfortunately, his comment that the members of a particular town may be inbred didn’t go over well with his constituents. Never mind that this Minister has a PhD in genetics and was referring to the higher rate of diabetes seen in this specific location compared to the fact that very few members leave the town and that many have the same last name.  Hi, this is my brother Daryl and my other brother Daryl.

One of the first things to go in the Generation Member’s brain is the section that remembers vocabulary.  Perhaps on their induction, Weenies are issued a special dictioweenie that informs them when to get offended.  The beauty of this dictioweenie is that reference to any and all definitions are immediately substituted by their offensive counterparts.  Take Tar Baby, for instance.  The dictionary defines it as “A situation or problem from which it is virtually impossible to disentangle oneself,” after a story by Joel Chandler Harris that described a doll made of tar that was supposed to snare a bre’r rabbit.  This week, presidential hopeful Mitt Romney uttered that remark (using the word correctly by dictionary reference) relating to Boston’s Big Dig debacle.  Gen W members, on a hunch, consulted their dictioweenies and came up with a lewd term for persons of African descent, or in other words, black people.  They immediately cried foul, probably dashing the election hopes of Massachusetts’ poor gov.  Oh well, he’s not the first politician to be in a situation or problem from which it is virtually impossible to disentangle oneself, a.k.a. a tar baby.

Please take a moment to enjoy this letter by Azeezaly S. Jaffer, the Public Affairs officer for the U.S. Postal Service. Apparently, he finds the term “going postal” both offensive and distasteful. He suggests the meaning of that phrase be changed to recognize the hard work the 70,000 postal employees perform every day.

Would you pay $2.49 to be offended?  Eight people did in two months on Cingular’s website when they downloaded a ring tone poking fun at immigration reform.  But in today’s Weenie atmosphere, poking fun is a thing of the past.  Hispanic activists immediately deemed the ringtone racist and Cingular pulled it from their website.

Seems Scottsdale Mayor Mary Manross is up in arms over the recent grand opening of the famed Las Vegas eatery, the Pink Taco.  Apparently, Ms. Manross has her FINGER on the pulse of her constituents as she was quoted as saying “I don’t appreciate anything that offends more than half the population.”  Which half is that?  The article says that the Mayor asked the restaurant to change its name before opening its doors.  I agree.  The Pink Taco leaves much to be desired.  I was thinking of the Sideways Smile or the Bearded Clam.

The California State Supreme Court wasted time on another frivolous Weenie suit brought by a writing assistant (a.k.a. typist) on the T.V. show Friends.  Amaani Weenie Lyle claimed that off color jokes and content associated with the show really constituted sexual harassment and naturally, she was “offended.” But the high court sent her packing, ruling that the off color comments were not directed at her.  Good riddance, Weenie, sorry you lost your Friends.