Generation Weenie

Oh the child development experts are outraged again, this time at Sesame Street’s decision to market videos for children under two.  Apparently, T.V. is not a healthy part of a pre-two-year-old’s social diet.  Not that I can speak for a tiny tot, but compared to the usual eat, poop, and sleep, I’d like to have a little big bird time in my day.  Of course, if my parent is a Weenie, I can only look forward to a mobile in my crib.  How exciting.

Weenie words: outraged, disappointed

The buckle on the bible belt (my place of upbringing) has placed another chip in the forced morality pot in the form of criminal prosecution of any adult caught selling violent video games to minors.  What warrants a weenie post here is the definition the politicians gave to describe content that is “harmful to minors,” which is any material or performance that lacks serious literary, scientific, medical, artistic, or political value for minors.  Which is why I suggest all youngsters under 18 substitute Doom 3 with American Idol.

Commentary: You don’t have to be offended to be a member of Gen Weenie.  Trying to over protect children by legislating morality only serves to fuel the fire of those who will get outraged at the government about their child’s behavior.  Of course, those children who are so micro managed that they can’t get out of the house unless supervised have nothing else to do but play video games.

Seems Scottsdale Mayor Mary Manross is up in arms over the recent grand opening of the famed Las Vegas eatery, the Pink Taco.  Apparently, Ms. Manross has her FINGER on the pulse of her constituents as she was quoted as saying “I don’t appreciate anything that offends more than half the population.”  Which half is that?  The article says that the Mayor asked the restaurant to change its name before opening its doors.  I agree.  The Pink Taco leaves much to be desired.  I was thinking of the Sideways Smile or the Bearded Clam.

But don’t plan on wearing it to public school because the Weenies have had them banned. So go pick up your consummate “I’m with Stupid” mini T now before they get pulled from the shevles. Who knows, maybe the Baptists will have a good old fashioned shirt burning in front the of church this weekend.

Oh and thanks to the US Court of Appeals for the newest Weenie Word: Hurtful

Seems the Irish found an ale they don’t like, the Black and Tan. And it was Ben and Jerry’s misfortune to make an ice cream out of it which apparently insulted the entirety of Ireland because of a 1920’s British Militia of the same name. Don’t need to explain this one myself. I’ll leave it up to the quotes in the article. “I can’t believe that Ben & Jerry’s would be so insensitive to call an ice cream such a name and to launch it as a celebration of Irishness … it’s an insult!” Of course, Ben & Jerry put themselves in the weenie conga line by issuing an apology.

The California State Supreme Court wasted time on another frivolous Weenie suit brought by a writing assistant (a.k.a. typist) on the T.V. show Friends.  Amaani Weenie Lyle claimed that off color jokes and content associated with the show really constituted sexual harassment and naturally, she was “offended.” But the high court sent her packing, ruling that the off color comments were not directed at her.  Good riddance, Weenie, sorry you lost your Friends.

NORAD has decided, apparently all by itself and without outside weenie pressure, to selectively alter the names of the readiness excercises that are associated with references to Indians, or should I say Native Americans, or should I say, First Americans.  Amalgam Fencing Brave is now Amalgam Fencing Dart.  Amalgam Warrior has been changed to Amalgam Phantom.  You know what I say, though.  That’s right, we should rise up and protect our post hole diggers, our sweaty men in dingy Irish pubs, our light loafing Andrew Lloyd Webber fans, a.k.a the fencers, dart throwers, and phantoms of the Opera.

Article is here.

Turns out you can’t use the word “Spaz” anymore.  It has been claimed by a disability society representing people affected with spastic paralysis.  This caused quite a stir for Tiger Woods who used the word referring to some shaky putting.  Weenie word for this article…devastated.  Oh and a bonus weenie phrase…taken exception.  Take a look at the CNN article here.

- Thanks to James O’Connor for this reference

CNN post about an Australian swim team  “commando” style training camp involving mock “executions.”  Glenn Tasker, the chief executive of Swim Australia apparently got his panties in a wad calling it “inappropriate.”  Weenie word he used…”Shocked.”  Swim Team coach Taylor was forced to apologize for the “distress” it caused.

Are you a member of generation X?  What about generation Y?  Although these generations are usually associated with one’s age, there is another generation that is quickly gaining ground, a generation that does not prejudice on age, race, religion.  It is Generation Weenie, and it is open to all people who tend to be insulted, outraged, offended, or traumatized. 

This website serves as a place to make fun of the generation weenie members.  Please enjoy the posts, or send me your own links.  We’re always looking for new examples.

 Side note: if this website offends you, you are most definitely a member of the weenie clan.

Found your own weenie story?  Post your link as a comment and let me add it to the site!