The Vibrating Weenie Embarrases the Vibrating Weenie
Can you imagine the horror Renee Koutsouradis felt when she was called over the Delta PA system upon boarding her Dallas flight. Apparently, there was something vibrating in her checked luggage. Lucky for the fear-mongered general public travelers, it was just Mrs. Koutsouradis’ battery-powered dildo, a recent acquisition from a trip to Las Vegas with her husband. It seems that Renee likes to keep her business behind closed doors, however, as she was horrified and humiliated when security requested that she produce the object in question for inspection. And since she never wanted to be humiliated like this again, she decided to sue Delta Airlines which promptly got her name all over the Net and allowed me to issue her a bone-a-fied Weenie Card. Just a reminder this holiday, folks, when traveling under the new Bush-imposed weenie TSA rules, remember to leave your nail clippers at home, bring a 1-quart ziploc bag for your 6-oz toiletries, leave yourself four hours to get through security, and take the batteries out of your vibrating sex toy especially if you happen to be a right-wing, bible-thumping, hypocritical, conservative whose only means of bedroom happiness was made in your own self image.