Don’t Fear the Whirring Weenie-o-matic
How many times has this happened to you? You have a rat, and you’re trying to find an exciting new way to prepare it for the dinner table. You could pluck the rat, remove the rat’s tail, head and bones, and serve the rat as you would any other evening dinner. But why bother, now that you can use Rovco’s amazing new kitchen tool, the Super Rat-o-Matic ‘07. At least that is what NBC’s Fear Factor did, to legendary Dan Aykroyd’s delight and not-so-legendary Austin Aitken’s dismay. Seems Mr. Aitken’s composure was lost when he inadvertently viewed the liquification of live rats on the popular reality show. Luckily for Aitken, he wasn’t a contestant on the show and therefore did not sign a legal waiver. In fact, our hero was participating as a couch potato in his living room so, upon the unexpected dizziness caused by his queasy nature resulting in a bump on the noggin from fainting, he naturally retaliated with a 2.5 million dollar weenie-suit. I’m keeping an eye on this one, readers. If he is successful in his contention that content on the boob tube can make one ill, you can bet I’ll enter litigation against G.W. for his next State of the Union.